If Mum could see me now....

Sometimes on my trip I find myself in situations and I have a reality check and think to myself  ”if only my Mum could see me now....”. Often they are slightly unusual, maybe spiritual, and it is not uncommon for them to involve singing, chanting or some for m of ceremony. I think the first time was in India when Stella and I spent  some time at the Sivananda Ashram in Kerala. Each morning and evening we would meditate, not too out of the ordinary one could say, and then for about 45 minutes we would chant. Usually Sanskrit mantra’s, sometimes English ones, always from a well thumbed song book. Now it is not so strange I guess, but when you are surrounded by about 500 people, most of them dressed in yellow swaying to the rhythm of the chant and some more dedicated ones clapping and rocking out on the tambourine, you kinda wonder if you have been transported to another world. Well one vastly removed from my usual world anyways. Bhakti yoga, the yoga of devotion is alive and well in India, no suprises there, but it is the other places I have found this same format of devotional spiritual practice that I find intriguing. I pictured the look on my Mum’s face as I too got swept up in the chanting and devotional practice, although I must admit 3 days was enough. So on to other weird and wonderful spiritual experiences.

The spiritual shores of Lake Aitlan in Guatemala

I remember reading somewhere that there is a smorgasbord of spiritual experiences in life and you can cherry pick the ones that resonate. Up until now I had been perhaps more of purist in that I felt you should find one type of teaching be it yoga, Buddhism, Christianity, mysticism and stick to it. But I have changed my tune and am using my trip to indulge in local experiences that are opening my eyes to many new and wonderful worlds.  In India of course the chanting was a new one and of course the Hindu ceremony of the aarti, in Nepal simply being so close to the Himalya’s was an incredibly spiritual experience and then of course I found myself in a Christian camp in France. Similar to my ashram experience, in Taize I  was singing prayers in latin 3 times per day. Again something new for me, but also incredibly spiritual and beautiful. It was so moving and I have to say peaceful to be in such a large church surrounded by 3000 voices. 

In the last few weeks I have been sampling the Central American practices and again, find myself having these moments where I think to myself “if  only Mum could see me now...”.  In Mexico we participated in a Temzcal – a traditional Mayan ceremony which involves a sweat lodge that you spend about 90minutes in. The Mayan master passes around a rolled up leaf to puff on (apparently nothing illegal) whilst you state your intention, whatever you want to release or bring in, and then a little man brings in to the small lodge the hot volcanic rocks. The door is firmly shut (not an occasion to be claustrophobic) and the chanting begins. It seems a common theme between all of these ceremonies is the use of the voice and song. Water is poured onto the hot rocks to create steam and the intensity rises along with the heat. After 4 rounds, you are glad to be released into the cool of the night breeze, feeling somewhat exhilarated by the experience. Unique and moving, but for entirely different reasons.  I have to say, my intentions that I made that night are coming to fruition, so whether it is placebo or the mystically Mayan master took them away I will never know, but for me something did shift. 

The  Mayan "sweat lodge"

 And now I find myself looking for aura’s and talking about astral traveling. A new experience that is again very different but interesting all of the same. As my dear friend Tash calls it, I think I am in spooky school.  Each day we study meta physics from a Shaman women who has been in the area teaching this stuff for 30 years. Some of it resonates – working with chakra’s, a daily yoga and meditation practice, and then some of it is perhaps not something I will take with me. But as I brushed a medicinal plant over my fellow student in an attempt to cleanse her aura, I thought, at least I am giving it a go. 

And Mum, I am still of sound mind and body, and have not, nor will I run off to join a cult of any description. All of it is interesting and whilst some of the things I have found slightly weird and wonderful, I can honestly say I have taken something from each and every experience. Strangely enough, what I have found, all of the experiences I have had, whether it be chanting in an ashram, making a friend with my mind in meditation, singing to God in France or cleaning aura’s in Guatemala, all of them can provide you with meaning, a sense of calm and inner peace and not one of them promotes violence, war but rather compassion, unity and giving thanks to this amazing world we live in. So whatever your poison, each to their own, if it makes you sleep better at night, good for you. And take a sample from the smorgasbord and who knows, maybe you might find something you like.

Muchos Gracias

As we walked along the beach under the light of the full moon, we were stopped in our tracks by one of the most majestic things you can be witness too. A female sea turtle making her way back to the ocean after laying her eggs. It was breathtaking. There, in the moon light, this beautiful creature slowly and methodically made her way through the sand.  Standing in the metre wide tracks she left behind, I couldn’t help but feel incredibly blessed to be part of such an amazing moment. It really rounded off a pretty perfect week for me on the beaches of Tulum in Mexico.

Sunrise - Tulum

 I had some time ago arranged to meet a yoga buddy for a retreat in Mexico. It was a teacher from LA (Bryan Kest) that I have done some classes with before and I was looking forward to getting back into a strong physical practice (home practice is never the same) and also catching up with a friend from home. Oh, and of course spending some time on a beach in Mexico is not too shabby. The week certainly did not disappoint – 4.5 hours of yoga a day, an hour morning walk and some amazing vegetarian food.  Bryan’s style is Power but he also likes to say his yoga is for Grandma’s, anyone can do it. I love his simple yet challenging approach and I know after the 3hour morning class each day, I was certainly starting to feel back in my body. It was fantastic.  Bryan also has a beautiful way of weaving into the asana classes, elements of yoga that are often lost in yoga in the west. Observing your thoughts, noticing distractions, waking up and living yoga not only on the mat but in your life have left me feeling inspired by him as a teacher. Each evening we would also practice, with more focus on slowing down and including meditation. One thing we did daily was a meditation on gratitude. Being thankful for the things we have in our lives. It reminded me of being 6 years old and saying my evening prayers in a way, focusing on all of the wonderful people and events in our lives really is a simple way of turning our attention to the good in our lives rather than the not so good. It is so easy to get caught up in what we don’t have, what we are missing, that we forget about the many amazing things we already do have.

I have to admit, for me at this point in my life, I am overwhelmed with amazing things. The obvious one is to be on this adventure as that in itself is a pretty big one. But I found once I started with the meditation, like a join the dots puzzle, I was making connections to people and events that we were really only dusty faded memories in the back of my mind somewhere.  A fifth grade teacher who always made learning fun and interesting, my beautician in Sydney for encouraging me to try out her yoga studio (kinda turned out to be life changing that one, thanks Anna!), growing up in the country and catching tad poles and bugs, holidays with our crazy cousins and stealing ice creams, discovering the beauty in a piece of music a friend shares with me,  being one of the first people to be told my friend is expecting her first child, meeting that first child (and the 2^nd and the 3^rd), hugs from those beautiful children....the list was endless. What started out as a slow process, turned into a torrent of memories of amazing and wonderful things in my life.

Sydney Yogi's in Mexico

So I am incredibly grateful for so many things and to so many people. I know without some of them I would not be here, and doing what I am doing. I guess the obvious is my family, the endless love and support is incredible. The amazing friends, both old and new that come into my life, whether it be for 5 minutes, 5 years or a lifetime.  Whilst the places I go and the experiences I have are also pretty amazing, it is the people that I found featured the most in my meditation. So to all of you,  to the people reading this now, to the ones I have met on this journey and to the ones I have known all of my life  - muchos gracias – much thanks, I am incredibly and eternally grateful.

Living the Dream

I am now in the process of packing once again, and surprisingly I have not grown tired of it just yet. I have had a great couple of weeks catching up with some dear friends, enjoying the beautiful city of Bern and now the craziness of London. It has been a lovely 2 months in Europe, but I do feel ready to move on. It has been vastly different to the first part of my journey, and in some ways more challenging. Being surrounded by wonderful people has been the highlight of the European adventure, and  it really has been the first time all trip I have not really had a schedule to follow or something I had to do. I realised when I arrived here, the past 5 months have been filled with structure and routine – ashram schedules, daily work routines (volunteers still have to be on time) and being somewhat organised.  But then holidays are not such a bad thing.  I have found I have not been so interested by the places I have visited, but spending time in good company, sharing great conversation, is really what Europe has given me.

Good company in Bern - Anita and I enjoying the sunshine

The flip side of Europe is that is closer to my “normal” than perhaps India and Nepal. So it is interesting to observe how that has made me feel and what things it has raised for me. I have found I am confronted by thoughts around future, what will I do when I am finished, where will I live, what will I do for work – you know the usual stuff. And whilst I recognise that at some point I need to consider these important questions, at the moment, I am actually enjoying the nomadic lifestyle and quite content to just be. Be here. In this moment. To saviour the luxury of doing what I want, when I want it. You may consider it selfish, unrealistic or even removed from reality. Or you can see it as freedom, flexibility and following your heart.   The number of people that say to me “I wish I could do what you are doing” suggests to me I am doing something that a lot of people dream of.  Or maybe they are just being polite. 

It is incredibly empowering to have a dream and to live it. To not only talk about what I would if....but to take the plunge and follow what is in your heart. It is also incredibly challenging and at times down right scary. Fear around the “right” and “wrong” thing to do, the “should” v’s the “should not” can be crippling at times. Caught up in expectations of who we think we should be, what we should be doing, what other people will think, we often miss the most important message. We don’t hear our own hearts as our ears are so filled with the noise of society norms and expectations that we place on ourselves.  Being in Europe has at times been incredibly noisy for me –  being immersed in cultures that have before felt so comfortable and right are now making me feel slightly uneasy. Like putting on your old favourite shoes from last season to find that the well worn patches actually make them uncomfortable to walk in. You persist as they have always felt so comfortable, you remember the feeling so clearly,  but somehow you can’t ignore the discomfort and you have to acknowledge that maybe things do change, and that it is time to find a new pair of favourite shoes.   Maybe a strange analogy, but Europe has always felt so comfortable to me, so much so I thought I would live here, but something has changed, and perhaps it is me, but whilst I can appreciate the beauty, the culture and history, that it is maybe not for me anymore.

So I continue on to the next phase of my trip. Tomorrow I leave for Mexico where I am attending a week long yoga retreat with a favourite teacher of mine Bryan Kest. I am then extending the yogic experience and will check into a meditation workshop in Guatemala. A country I have always felt drawn to for no apparent reason other than I like saying the name – G-U-A-T-E-M-A-L-A...it sounds cool. So this is what following your heart looks like, making decisions based on no logic or rational thought other than a sound of a name. Some of you may think I am crazy, but I am slowly learning to worry less and less about that, and care more about what it is that is really important to me.  A tough process sometimes, but damn empowering. So your dream may not be to put on a backpack and travel the world, but figuring out what your dream is is really half the fun. And then the roller coaster ride of living it, even better.