Living the Dream

I am now in the process of packing once again, and surprisingly I have not grown tired of it just yet. I have had a great couple of weeks catching up with some dear friends, enjoying the beautiful city of Bern and now the craziness of London. It has been a lovely 2 months in Europe, but I do feel ready to move on. It has been vastly different to the first part of my journey, and in some ways more challenging. Being surrounded by wonderful people has been the highlight of the European adventure, and  it really has been the first time all trip I have not really had a schedule to follow or something I had to do. I realised when I arrived here, the past 5 months have been filled with structure and routine – ashram schedules, daily work routines (volunteers still have to be on time) and being somewhat organised.  But then holidays are not such a bad thing.  I have found I have not been so interested by the places I have visited, but spending time in good company, sharing great conversation, is really what Europe has given me.

Good company in Bern - Anita and I enjoying the sunshine

The flip side of Europe is that is closer to my “normal” than perhaps India and Nepal. So it is interesting to observe how that has made me feel and what things it has raised for me. I have found I am confronted by thoughts around future, what will I do when I am finished, where will I live, what will I do for work – you know the usual stuff. And whilst I recognise that at some point I need to consider these important questions, at the moment, I am actually enjoying the nomadic lifestyle and quite content to just be. Be here. In this moment. To saviour the luxury of doing what I want, when I want it. You may consider it selfish, unrealistic or even removed from reality. Or you can see it as freedom, flexibility and following your heart.   The number of people that say to me “I wish I could do what you are doing” suggests to me I am doing something that a lot of people dream of.  Or maybe they are just being polite. 

It is incredibly empowering to have a dream and to live it. To not only talk about what I would if....but to take the plunge and follow what is in your heart. It is also incredibly challenging and at times down right scary. Fear around the “right” and “wrong” thing to do, the “should” v’s the “should not” can be crippling at times. Caught up in expectations of who we think we should be, what we should be doing, what other people will think, we often miss the most important message. We don’t hear our own hearts as our ears are so filled with the noise of society norms and expectations that we place on ourselves.  Being in Europe has at times been incredibly noisy for me –  being immersed in cultures that have before felt so comfortable and right are now making me feel slightly uneasy. Like putting on your old favourite shoes from last season to find that the well worn patches actually make them uncomfortable to walk in. You persist as they have always felt so comfortable, you remember the feeling so clearly,  but somehow you can’t ignore the discomfort and you have to acknowledge that maybe things do change, and that it is time to find a new pair of favourite shoes.   Maybe a strange analogy, but Europe has always felt so comfortable to me, so much so I thought I would live here, but something has changed, and perhaps it is me, but whilst I can appreciate the beauty, the culture and history, that it is maybe not for me anymore.

So I continue on to the next phase of my trip. Tomorrow I leave for Mexico where I am attending a week long yoga retreat with a favourite teacher of mine Bryan Kest. I am then extending the yogic experience and will check into a meditation workshop in Guatemala. A country I have always felt drawn to for no apparent reason other than I like saying the name – G-U-A-T-E-M-A-L-A...it sounds cool. So this is what following your heart looks like, making decisions based on no logic or rational thought other than a sound of a name. Some of you may think I am crazy, but I am slowly learning to worry less and less about that, and care more about what it is that is really important to me.  A tough process sometimes, but damn empowering. So your dream may not be to put on a backpack and travel the world, but figuring out what your dream is is really half the fun. And then the roller coaster ride of living it, even better.