So long, farewell

So it is getting further and further between drinks (aka posts) on this baby of mine, what started out as a way of keeping friends and family up to date on my travel adventures turned into something more. I re-kindled my love of writing and so much so I became inspired to get my stuff out there and get some things published (and to date have 6 articles online) which is awesome. I have also built my website for my business (ww.fleurcarter.com) which is becoming the focus now that I am not really "traveling" anymore. Although living in India is certainly different from my country town Horsham where I grew up.

That said, I am focusing my attention on the new blog on my website (please check it out if you haven't already, you can even sign up for my fancy pants newsletter) So I have decided to say goodbye to In the Flow - simply as I feel it has served its purpose and it is now time for some different things. I will be writing, and lots, but on my other site. It may not be as personal as perhaps this has been (and maybe too personal at times) but nearly all of my articles published were born here, on this very blog. I am forever grateful for that and to those of you who followed me.

For now, it is goodbye, but then hello over at the other site. Would love to hear from you, and get your comments etc, starting out is never fun, but I guess you have to start somewhere!

Latest blog !

Super excited to have not one but 3 articles now published!!! SO so so cool to dream of something and then see it happen....in case you missed them, here are the links to

How to get a yoga butt on elephant journal

Crow pose, and how it is my barometer on MindBodyGreen

and last but not least, How meditation changed my life...MindBodyGreen

Awesomeness :)

Manifesting Dreams

You often hear me here banging on about dreams and making them come true. It is a common theme I will admit, really and truly connecting to what you want and then making it happen. For me it has become a work in progress as I have carefully adjust and move and shift and grow - finding my path, finding what it is that floats my boat, connecting into what I want for my life. It might seem ridiculous or even foreign to some of you, but I coasted through life without really asking myself of those big questions. Why am I here? What is my purpose? What do I want my life to look life? And the kicker, when I die, what impact do I want to have had on the world? (I even wrote out my obituary, now that is a fun task I assure you)

So I guess I talk about what I know, what is on my mind, and in my heart. It is a blog after all, and that is the purpose, to share/vent/discuss/bare what it is the writer (me) choses to divulge. Of late I have been perhaps preoccupied and so my posts have been few and far between - setting up a website (part of my dream of being my own boss) and studying a foreign language (also something on my bucket list but I even I have to admit that Tibetan was not perhaps what I had thought about when I envisioned this one) and also enjoying the beauty of new romance - I reluctantly share this about my personal life - the romance stuff - as it involves another person, but if I am painting a picture for you, it would be like leaving out the paint or the brush in this case as it is a pretty big thing for me right now. But I digress....

One of my dreams is to write, I love it. Through this blog I reconnected with an old past time, something I had done alot of in my youth and if you had asked me what I would be when I was 16 I would of promptly replied a journo. I had grand plans of traveling the world and writing about it - my besty at the time had a love for photography so we were going to be partners in crime as I wrote the story and she told it through pictures. Ah, the dreams of teenagers. Here is the funny part, she did go on to be a photographer and here I am, traveling the world and writing about it. Well sort of. Who would've thought that a girl from Horsham High day dreaming in a music theory class about a life in front of her would really come to fruition in a round a bout way. This dream shit works people.  So there is a reason for my banging on.

And I would like to share with you another manifestation of my dreams - my first ever published article on an amazing magazine.....

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6679/How-Meditation-Changed-My-Life.html

I would love you long time if you can share it, send the link on...thanks!

Remove the safety net

I have been busy building, trying, note the word trying to kick the procrastination and get off my butt and DO the things I have been planning to do....I am studying (Tibetan language and Buddhist philosophy) which for the record is incredibly enriching and fulfilling and I highly recommend getting out and learning something new today. Stretching your mind can be like blowing out the cobwebs from an old and dusty cupboard, rediscovering and reconnecting to a part of your brain that have neglected. For me, it is challenging but fun. I am loving learning for the first time in my life - well except for my yoga teacher training which felt more like experiencing that study per se.

But back to here and now and what is filling my days. I am busy building my own work, my own website and own material. It brings up every insecurity I have in terms of "making it" and being successful, of putting out there what I know and maybe exposing what I don't. Exciting and scary are in bed together on this one. They are joined at the hip. For every moment there is a small sense of achievement there is a moment of "what AM I doing???" So hence the procrastination, it is easy to not do rather than do and fail. Why try when it may not work anyway. Why take a risk when it is safer and easier to not. Safe is comfortable, but safe I have found in the past is boring. Safe is for the "that would be nice" sayers, safe is for the "success is for other people" musers. But safe is not for the explorers, the adventurers, the change makers. I am sure Steve Jobs did not sit at home saying, "it would be better if I just took a job working for someone else's dreams." No, Steve Jobs followed his own dreams.

So maybe I am no Steve Jobs, but I am trying to do what I know is the right path for me. The path that is not often walked, that is not often understood by others, and is not always filled with comfort and ease (or a regular pay check for that matter) So I am practicing what I preach, I am stepping again outside that comfort zone, most days it I snap right back to the comfort and ease of not doing, but I am not a quitter and I will slowly but surely get there. SO, this blog will be less and less and more and more will be www.fleurcarter.com - still a blog, but maybe less about me personally but more about what I am doing.  I hope you continue to follow my on the journey as one world morphs into the next.

The Power of 3 Simple Words

"Are you here for the teachings?" A simple question
"No, I live here." I replied

You would think such a simple question would not even raise an eyebrow in this part of the world, and to be honest, for the unknowing question asker, it didn't. But it certainly raised mine. "I live here". It is the first time in close to 2 years I have had a place to call home. I guess this place has always felt like home to me, from the moment I stepped off the bus back in Feb 2011 in the wee hours of the morning I knew this place was kinda special. But uttering those 3 simple words fills me with so much emotion it is weird. Emotions that are new and interesting or perhaps they are simply old and familiar but my outlook has shifted as I watch them arise - watching them play themselves out, detached in a way but in other more connected than I have ever been before.

Maybe it sounds like I am talking in riddles, but before I left Sydney I remember saying to my sister "I feel numb". Sydney had been wonderful in so many ways, but it also left me feeling, well, numb. I felt disconnected to me, I was on auto pilot and it was easy, but something didn't quite fit. Unable to truly feel, occupied with distractions and the way of life that I never stopped, never spent time reflecting, never sat still for a moment. Back here though my feeling is slowly but surely shifting, moving back into the space of gratitude and wonderment and awe. Noticing stuff, appreciating the little things and grinning from ear to ear like a small child each and every day. Granted I had let my practice go by the wayside in Sydney and perhaps it is back into a regular daily routine of gentle asana (the body is still adjusting to the 333 steps I climb each day) but the coming back to my breath, of sitting and allowing my mind to come to stillness, the power of simply observing. All things  that connect me back in. That bring me back to me, that allow me to feel alive.

It is hard to pin point the actual combination of things that connect me back, that make me feel alive, that smooth out the numbness and breath life back into my eyes, my body, my mind. Is it the daily practice, is it the immersion in teachings of the Buddha, is it the crisp mountain air, or perhaps the simplicity of the Tibetan people....or maybe a careful blend of all of the above. Who knows, but it is nice to feel back, to feel at home, to feel me.

So those 3 little words "I live here" were like my gauge, my point in time where I felt pride and joy, of hope and gratitude and that feeling of being exactly where I need to be :)

Daring to dream

So much for blogging again, I must admit it is not due to writers block, on the contrary, I am in overload with things to write about. But where to begin? Do I share the daily teachings on Shantideva's Way of the Bodhisatva that manage to inspire me and hit home every day (I have started my study at the Tibetan Library and Archives here in Dharamsala) Or perhaps the realisation that it is 2 years since I handed in my resignation and embarked on what has become a life changing experience? Or simply the fact that on my walk to the library this morning I found myself nearly in tears - simply from joy in feeling so god damn happy.

I figure I just start somewhere and the rest will follow, it usually does. Things form in a direction and you may not realise it at the time, but they are making shapes for futures we are not even aware. I had one of those moments today, standing on the side of my mountain thinking "how did I end up here?"  A ridiculous grin on my face as I skipped over the road that has been swept away by the monsoonal rains. A grin that is spontaneous and a permanent fixture even with the constant rain and in turn soggy shoes. "How did I end up on the side of a mountain in India??" Had you have told me this time last year I would be here today, back on the side of this mountain I would not have believed you. Hell, 2 years ago I was still not sure that I would in fact pack in the corporate gig, sell my stuff and really put on a back pack and head off. Sure, it was a nice idea, in fact it was a lovely idea, but for real? I didn't think I had the balls. But turns out I did. Or maybe you could say I had the stupidity, but either way it brings me here, to this side of the mountain in the north of India.

However, maybe,  just maybe I did know I was going to end up here. A funny story that perhaps I can share with you. Whilst I was home I had the fun job of sorting through my "stuff". The random 10 + boxes and bags of clothes that I had stored in my sisters roof. Vinnies (a charity) received another shipment of the clothes I had little use for, when you have spent 18 months with one bag you soon realise how little you really need, and I didn't even touch most of the boxes. I ran out of steam.  But I did come across some things I found interesting and perhaps useful. A hair dryer that is now necessary for my longer locks, my favourite hoody that I have bought back (although white is really not a great colour for India) and a dream book I had started about 3-4 years ago. A book that I used to write down all of my dreams for the future, what I wanted my life to look like, the places I wanted to go, the goals I wanted to achieve, the house I want to live in - it has it all.  As I opened the first page, here is what I found.

Now you may not find that unusual, plenty of people have long term desires to travel to far off lands, but to be honest, my head was never filled with a longing for India, Nepal and Tibet. It just so happened that the day I started my book there was a travel feature in the paper on the region. Nepal was on my list of places to return to, but India was an afterthought. And Tibet? It sounded exotic. Here I am, living on one side of the mountains to all 3 of those countries, within a Tibetan community, surrounded by prayer flags and in fact studying Tibetan Buddhism. And in the last year I have been to all 3 countries.

But perhaps the most interesting page was the drawing I had made of mountains. I have always loved the mountains and would say I am a mountain person over a beach one - I guess it is in my blood, my family has spent many generations at the foot of the Grampians in Victoria. But this sketch has a resemblance to something else, don't you think???

The view from my balcony - sunset at monsoon

 

 

 

 

The view non monsoonal

So maybe on some level I did know that I would end up here - happy dreaming everyone :)

Welcome back old friend

I have been a bit distracted of late - time in Sydney with family and friends, play dates with my beautiful nephew and then I have also been spending time on everything else but writing, or practicing, or working or studying or anything really. Sure it is a lovely distraction to sing to a sweet little boy, but now that I am back in McLeod Ganj and I no longer have morning cuddles with my nephew, I am trying to come back to what I know. I am back in my favourite coffee shop in my favourite town in the north of India. Cafe Budan is the same, the boys are all still here, and I feel like in ways I never left. I have even moved back into my old apartment which I just love. I love the familiarity, the view, those mountains that look so magical now as they are permanently surrounded in mist of the delayed monsoon. The place is slightly surreal as the rains have come and bought with them a freshness to the air and a greenness to the mountains. It is breath takingly beautiful and each day I wake and watch the colour of the sky slowly change from dark to light as the soft gentle rain falls and the trees start to make form through the dense fog. Beautiful. Breath taking. And I can't believe I am here, it is magical.

I even rolled out my yoga mat, something I am trying to do each day. Whether it is for 5 minutes or 50, I am slowly breathing life back into my tight hamstrings and loosening the tension in between my shoulders with gentle and slow movements. Nothing fancy, nothing radical,  but simply moving with my breath, watching my mind, and allowing my body to sigh. A big long sigh as the stiffness starts to flow and the past 2 months of good times and indulgence of food and wine and catching up with loved ones start to slip away. After the movement, comes the pranayam, the breath and finally the cherry on top, the silence, the mediation, the stilling the mind. It is amazing how the body never forgets a Surya Namaskar sequence, and groans in protest to a long hip opening, and my mind settles into the space that it is oh so familiar. We have been here before, we know the drill, it is like seeing an old friend. No matter how long the distance, no matter how much time has passed, old friends never forget, they never grow weary or kick you to the curb because you have neglected them, they simply welcome you with open arms and show you nothing but love.

McLeod has welcomed me with open arms, and so to my yoga mat. Like friendships that stand the test of time, I know I can be myself and slip back into our familiar pattern. Bliss.

How to nourish your soul

Hanging out in the west is not too shabby -  I am cold....I put on the heat, I want to go to a yoga class..... I have a plethora to chose from and the power is on all of the time. The list is endless really. All things that you take for granted but I can assure you are not given's in some parts of the world. I love catching up with friends and discovering new things to amuse my 6 month old nephew with ( this week it is singing "what's up pussy cat" and I have him in stitches) but, there is always a but, I find some things challenging and difficult and leave me asking why?

People are busy in the city, from morning til night it is go go go - I know, I used to be one of the inner urban dwellers that rose at 5am to start my day and maxed out every minute before I fell into bed at 10pm.  I think it made me feel more useful, more valued and more valuable the more I could squeeze into a single 24 hours. I notice now that lifestyle whilst sometimes is rewarding and it certainly allows me to be where I am now (think financially) but on the flip side, I wonder how I could've truly connected with people in the past, how I might've been fueling my body and my mind to some degree (as I was leading a pretty healthy lifestyle) I was somehow missing out on fueling my soul. Nourishing one's soul can prove a tough trick in the set of the city and the hectic life that goes with it.

Taking time out to simply breath, to ponder, to dwell, to smile, to listen, to read the paper from cover to cover, to enjoy the sunshine on your face, to eat delicious food and savour it.....simple things that take time, and awareness to enjoy them. I read today in the Sydney Morning Herald weekend magazine an article about the pursuit of pleasure, how hedonism is alive and well but how we feel guilty for seeking pleasure. I get that pleasure seeking lifestyles that are fixated on external vices filling an internal void are perhaps not useful, but seriously, having a day in bed with a good book or a long lunch the lingers into the evening are things now seen to be pursuits purely about pleasure and we feel guilty about partaking in them....it is a bit sad really.

Life is short, I am reminded of that today as I received the news that a guy I worked with last year died last week - 25 and a HIV sufferer. I am reminded to savour each and every minute of this life, don't fill it with "stuff" or a long list of things to do, enjoy it, and do things that nourish your soul. I am reminded not to post pone happiness for one more minute, to not get caught in the "should's" but to do the things that help me be the best person I can, and to help others to do the same. And from time to time that may be a day in bed with a good book or a long lunch that lingers into the evening. Perhaps you can do the same :)

http://www.mitrataa.org

PS You may remember the organisation I worked with in Nepal last year - they are doing amazing work with women's and girls development and also are running Bal Mandir Children's Home - they are fundraising at the moment. One great way to nourish your soul is to give so perhaps you could support some kids who don't have iPods or private schooling, but are in need of your help.

Life is pretty fancy out here....

Being home as been an interesting experience – I say interesting as it is wonderful and magical and totally normal. I was not sure what to expect to be honest, I had prepared for mini freak out mode or major holy shit moments, but I have not really found that to be the case. Instead I am in a place where things seem normal, like I have always been here, doing this. That the last 18 months is almost a dream – but then it is just some experiences I have had that are part of my existence. My 5 month old nephew is my reality check though, my sister has a baby, the little man was not around 18 months ago. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I look different, there has been some time passed since I was last here. It is weird though, that it is not more weird. Not sure that completely makes sense, but I think I reflected a few weeks back that my normal has shifted that I don’t really have one anymore so maybe that has something to do with it. 

At first having no norm, no comparison of what is ordinary, or not, you may think it is unsettling or not grounding. Norm or ordinary is our anchor, our reference point, our ability to compare and decide whether something is good or bad, ok or not ok, scary or safe....it is the starting point. I am not sure that I have a starting point anymore, or it has changed. Everything feels normal but it also feels bright and shiny and new. It is weird.  It is exciting and it is refreshing and I am liking this place. I enjoy the brightness of friends and family, the connection with people that have been part of my life and make me who I am today. Seeing people for the first time is interesting, I know they are carefully measuring up how much I have changed, whether I have grown both inside and out, curious to know what I learned and what I didn’t, what am I doing now and where I am going. The list of questions is endless and good natured and come from a place of genuine interest and careful consideration. Some have followed my blog (actually I am humbled by how many people have been reading about my adventures) and others have not, but all are friendships that I am blessed to have as we pick up where we left off – whether it is 12 months or 36 since our last meeting, all have stood the test of time. 

hanging out with Coops, perhaps the best bit of home :)

I am enjoying the ease of being in a western country – of drinking water from the tap, of having hot water when ever I want it, of flushing loo paper, having climate control heating – little things really, but as my friends in Mcleod say “wow, how fancy!” I appreciate the access to amazing food and wine and to clean and wide streets and the mod cons of the western world. But on the flip side I have to bight my lip when I pay close to $5 for a coffee, when I see the indulgence in consumerism, the political debates over processing boat people and the reality that many people in Australia simply do not appreciate how lucky they are to have a public health system, to not have to live hand to mouth and that the biggest decision is whether to get the iPhone 5 or stick with the 4.  But it is the reality here, the norm, so I am not begrudging it or judging, truly I am not, but I recognise that this is simply how things are.  Different paradigms of reality, not wrong or right, but versions that it is best to not try and compare.  I feel lucky to have had the chance to see a different paradigm, a different reality, and it is something I hope I continue to do where ever I am in the world, to see things a little bit differently, to stand back and look at the world through the glasses of keeping it real  – it does not mean we all go off and live in a hippie commune, but at least see things as they are. And appreciating it for what it is. So places like India and Nepal are always with me, the dirt the grim the poverty and the rubbish – but more importantly the simplicity, the humbleness, the happiness of the people. I take that with me everywhere. Perhaps that is now my norm.  And having heating that comes up from the floor IS pretty fancy.

One Love

I am on the plane, one hour from landing and strangely enough that deep sense of okness has not left my body. It feels normal to be here on this plane, to be heading “home” after 18 months, nothing out of the ordinary here. But I don’t have an ordinary anymore, I don’t have a “norm” so each day, each moment is new and interesting and exciting.  Moving around, changing locations, meeting new people, saying goodbye – they are all my norm. When you shift your paradigm of comparison, with it you move your perspective and along follows the feeling states. It has not lost the shine, it has not got dull and boring (even packing my pack for the 100^th time), I am used to it but it is certainly not yawn worthy or average or ho hum. How lucky am I? Incredibly blessed and I am feeling a whole lotta gratitude as I look out the window and see the vast great land I call home. I have the Peter Allen song in my head right now, “I still call Australia home”. 

In about 2 hours I will get to hug my sister and meet my nephew for the first time – now that thought pulls at my heart strings I must say. A new little person came into our world in my absence and I get to see him, cuddle him, smell him and touch his tiny little hands and feet (as opposed to skype) I am sure the poor kid will get a shock when he hears my voice for real v’s out of the little square black box (Bec’s iPhone).  I remember leaving in January last year and thinking that when I got home that there could just be a new little person, it filled me with sadness and nerves and fear at the time, but today, I feel nothing but excitement and joy. 

I wrote the other day about the big questions in life, about pondering why are we here and who are we? When you have some time to navel gaze it is inevitable that you ask yourself these things. (Maybe you don’t, but I have spent a good few hours on the subject) I have had the fortunate opportunity to figure out what is in my heart and follow it, to have dreams and to do them, to listen to my little voices of reason (aka fear) in my head and tell them to bugger off I am going to do it anyway. In that process, in being able to embrace life, I have been able to do and see some amazing things along they way and to meet some incredible people. But back to my pondering or navel gazing or what ever you want to call it. 

The big questions, or rather the big answers are just that, they are big, but then they are also small. They are complicated but yet oh so simple.  We are all connected and we are all love. We are all God or Atman or Bliss or Purusha or Prakrita or Shiva or Shakta. We are all Buddha nature, we are all light and we are all love. We are one. We are love. Whatever you chose to call it, at our core we are all of those things, they are inherent in us. We don’t need to go find it or build it up or develop it. We don’t need to learn it or practice it or even study for years to find it. It is there, all the time, we just need to see it. Uncover it, realise it, allow it to be. We just need to get ourselves out of the way. I like how the Tibetans describe it, we are like a glass window simply covered in dirt, we simply need to remove the dirt to reveal the clear clarity of the glass underneath. Simple.  Or another great saying I heard the other day

 “ You don’t need to see it to believe it, believe it and you will see it.”

The light resides within

So folks, day 1 or day 21, thanks for hanging out and joining me. I made it, I posted daily, I can’t say I loved it every day, but I did it anyway. I will keep blogging as I love it, but maybe a wee break while I hang out with Coops and my family. I have the next 2 months in Aus before heading back to India for the fun to continue!  If you want, you can check out www.freedom-retreats.com to see what I will be up to.

A quickie

I thought might miss today's post, I have been caught up in the world of distractions - last minute shopping, lunch with the girls, massages, you know important things one must do in Bali....oh, and all on a few hours sleep after partaking in the Bali night light, yep, we made it out in Kuta....very strange yet appropriate way to end 3 weeks of yoga. Sound strange? Well as Mark, Jen and I carved up on the dance floor of a Sky Garden (a Kuta club) surrounded by, well, kids, we could've been their parents technically, we could night grins from our faces. We were having fun. And that is what yoga is about - living this life as best you can, with balance and love, and also a bit fun. 8 hours, and I will be in Sydney....will let you know how that goes :)

Truly being in the flow....

Our last day of Yoga Coach training and it is always sad to say good bye – but somehow I am not filled with sadness but more with a feeling of warm fuzziness in my heart. All of these amazing people I know I will connect with in some way in the future, they are an integral part of my trip and as I shared with them today, they have helped keep me grounded about coming home. If you had asked me 2 months ago about how I was feeling about returning to Australia, I was filled with excitement, nerves, joy, fear – the full range of emotions would arise at the thought of touching down on Australian soil. But now I feel a feeling that is becoming to be a feature more and more in my life – a deep sense of okness. Not perhaps a fancy way of describing it, and I can’t find the right words to do it justice, but it is a feeling that begins deep inside my belly and is one of warmth and of comfort, of safety and security, it is a feeling that tells me everything is happening just as it should.  

I know when I lose the feeling as I come up into my head, my mind is filled with thoughts and fears and my body begins to hold the tension.....it plays it out many forms and can manifest as feelings of nausea, tension in my hips  or over excitement which sees me indulging in distractions. I am in a different place, one of comfort and ease, one where I am and still excited about coming home but I am not in a place of overwhelm but rather one that deep feeling of okness. It feels amazing and so special and I owe it partly to the beautiful people I have shared the past 3 weeks with. Keeping grounded, noticing as things arise but coming back to flow quicker and quicker  - truly magical to see how we can and do transform. So sticking with my intention of embracing everything that is presented to me, I am noticing more and more how quickly I am coming back to flow, and it feels amazing. It has taken me 18  months, but finally I feel I am getting it.

Like the Lotus

The last evening of our Yoga Coach training and it feels kinda strange that it is all coming to a close. As people start to connect into their lives outside of our YC bubble, you can feel the wind down effect of a 3 week intensive program such as this. We are all full, but yet we are all energised and inspired by the process that we have been through. It is amazing to see the transformations in people, how we have all expanded and grown in various ways. We have laughed and we have cried, we have seen parts of ourselves that we perhaps did not know existed and we are all leaving with enormous smiles and warmth in our hearts. Hearing about people's dreams never fails to inspire me - to share in the cultivation of tiny seeds of ideas and to watch them develop and grow and even come into bloom just like the lotus is incredible. I feel lucky to be able to share that with so many wonderful people, that I can honestly say, are truly going to change people lives.

We have all seen and heard our inner critics, faced our fears on a daily basis and come full circle to inspiration and gratitude - in awe of the opportunities that lay ahead. It is wonderful to sit up and say "anything is possible" and know what it feels like to believe that in every cell of your body. This past 3 weeks has been about so many things, about each of us individually on our own little path, about us connecting with each other and the beauty that forms in relationships that did not exist 21 days earlier, about learning and growing together and ultimately, about us realising our potential so we can help others to do the same. I am feeling incredible gratitude to the 9 women and 2 blokes that I have had the pleasure of sharing the YC journey with here - each and everyone one of them has given me something that I have taken into the tapestry of my heart.

I could not have picked a more perfect way to spend my last 21 days on this part of my adventure, it has been like coming home of sorts, of coming back to what I know, of coming back to my body, of coming back to my mind and of coming back to me. So thank you to all of my new YC sangha and to Mark who as always has been incredible, I still have to pinch myself to believe I am this lucky to have such an amazing teacher.  So only a 1/2 day tomorrow before a final day in Bali, and the next adventure begins :)

The beauty of Bhakti with Edo and Jo

An evening with the beautiful sounds of Edo and Jo, followed by an early morning meditation and chanting on the beach, lazy breakfast and morning off....I am floating. I have to admit the first time I experienced kirtan music (chanting typically in sanskrit) I was just a little weirded out. It as not my thing to close your eyes and sing foreign words whilst swaying to the sound of a drum and harmonium. But wind the clock forward, I am up there, singing my little heart out, without a care in the world what anyone else thinks as I drift away whilst the melodies of the ancient chants wash over me. I can feel the vibrations throughout my body and for the first time my heart truly swells and I feel connected to the music, to the people around me and to myself - in this moment I can understand the beauty of chanting and bhakti yoga (yoga of devotion).

Music can often invoke feelings of joy, feelings of sorrow and sadness,  and for me it is often connected to moments in time the recreate memories. I even have a sound track from my travels that is a collection of songs that have had specific meaning at certain times throughout the year. Whether it be a song that is playing in the background of a time that is memorable, a song that has created a memory (think "Love Generation" by Bob Sinclair from iPods and Apple Pies) or perhaps it is tunes that have been stuck in my head for no apparent reason but are permanent fixtures for the duration of an event (Vipassana I had the entire Akon album in my mind - not exactly what you would expect but it reminded my of Mcleod)

I can live without a tv, but I am not sure I could live without my iPod - my music has been with me through countless hours on the bus, at lonely airports, of times when I needed a pick me up and times when I feel the song has been written about me (funny how that happens). I love sound and I love music from all genres - I even have been listening to traditional Tibetan nomadic music lately. It reminds me of people special to me.  My sound track for this year takes me instantly to the Himalaya's where I danced to Bob Sinclair, to the hotel room in Kathmandu where Coby Grant kept me company, "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver and I am reminded  of a late night phone call from a friend, Akon and I am dancing with my friends in Mcleod, Adele and I am sitting watching a volcano in Guatemala, "Sometimes" by James and I am again trekking in the mountains, "Om mani padme hum" and I am awaiting the arrival of His Holiness the Dalai Lama in Bodhgaya....the list grows and is a beautiful way to keep the memories alive. And now I have another one to add to the list, "Om Shanti" by Edo and Jo.  Check out the film clip that was actually shot on Mark's training last year.

Making dreams come true

I have been a big fan over the last 18 months of dreaming – of pondering life and what I want it to look like, of taking the reins and steering the ship rather than coasting along on the coat tails of expectations and other people’s beliefs. I have spent time figuring out what is really important to me and what is it that I have been put on this planet to do. What do I want to spend my days doing and how can I shape and carve my specific insights and ideas into my reality. It has been an interesting process as I get in touch with a creative side I have boxed and shelved for more than 20 years and allowing myself to fully explore, anything IS possible. Questions like “what would I do if money was no object?” have been helpful drivers along the way to keep me focused on the bigger picture and practicing what I preach – do what you love so you can love what you do.

I found myself in a career in HR, perhaps not through default, but through a passion to help people grow. I honestly get a kick out of seeing people discover their talents but more importantly to follow them. To delve deep inside and find that spark, that little flame that ignites when they discover their passion – as when you do what you love, you are automatically good at. In fact you excel. In my corporate career in HR (primarily learning and development) it was no surprise that when we moved the focus from measuring performance to measuring potential, we saw incredible results. People were channelling their energy into roles and projects that they enjoyed, rather than fighting a losing battle like a square peg in a round hole in roles that they could do but really had no interest in. Or worse still, were doing what they thought they “should” do as it was a good CV filler. Disaster. For both individuals and the organisation – you end up with a bunch of people going about their day through obligation rather than real desire.  A simple switch in roles to where their strengths lay, and surprise surprise, performance soon followed suite. It is not rocket science really, if you like what you do, chances are you will do it better.

I still have the passion to see people grow, I want people to be their best and to realise their own potential. As Mark puts it, everyone has a set of unique gifts and talents, we just need to recoginse them. That is what inspires me, what drives and what I get really excited about. I am working towards doing that, being that and can’t wait to share some of it with you.  Interestingly when you are so clear, when you are focused on your goal with so much determination and that deep sense of knowing that you could not be doing anything else, then things flow. They happen. Already things are starting to flow for me, opportunities to share my knowledge are slowly creeping in and it gives me faith and belief that my dreams are starting to come true.

Words of a wise Tibetan

My mind is getting full and I am starting to find I am drifting slowly day by day  to Australia. I am mapping out the meals I want to eat, the things I want to do, the people I want to see – how that will flow, the conversations, the catching up. It is endless. I find it hard to comprehend really. It is funny how we do that though, project ourselves to the future and if you are like me, begin to imagine how it will feel to be in a place, what it will be like to see people, what are all the things that can happen.  I guess it is like scenario planning, imagining all of the possible outcomes and having a strategy or an approach for each one.  Although I don’t quite go to that extreme, I am not scenario planning my home coming, but I am starting to picture what it will feel like to see my sister at Sydney airport. 

I am trying valiantly to stay here and in the moment as from previous experience I am acutely aware that future or past are not really useful places to hang out. Occasionally to reflect on something you have learned then the past can be helpful or if you are specifically planning around future then taking a trip a few years ahead and visualising what it is you want is incredibly powerful. But on a whole, the best ways to spend your precious moments of time are here and now. So I am trying but as each day passes it is becoming increasingly more and more difficult to contain. But practice makes perfect so I will continue.  I have had some tendencies to spend a lot of my time in the past, going over things, analysing them and critiquing what I could have done differently, better, said or not said etc etc. I reflect a lot, I journal out my days, I spend time going over things so I can see how things did or did not go wrong and then often spend a great deal of time cutting myself up over it. Not a very productive use of time, nor healthy.

When I was in Mcleod,  I was having a disagreement with a Tibetan friend when we decided to drop the subject  as clearly we were not getting anywhere that he said “no problems, past is past”.  I think I smiled, shrugged and thought ok, but walked off stewing over the issue for the next hour.  I went to approach the subject with him, he smiled in return and said simply “past is past, it is forgotten” that I realised he honestly meant it. He had forgotten what was a pretty heavy conversation. Maybe he did not forget, but he was able to put it down and move on. He was amused that I had carried it around for more than an hour brewing – clearly his use of the hour was more productive than mine.

I am drawing on the inspiration of my Tibetan friends this week as I am always learning from them with their simple and uncomplicated way of seeing life.  The acceptance for how things are, even in changing situations, the ability to embrace each and every moment as it is. Not jumping ahead to tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, nor wallowing in the history of our lives. It is here and now the magic happens, so that is my focus for today.