Duck Duck Fish

As I sit and sip my crisp white wine, I can’t help but smile to myself at how things change. When was the last time I sipped (or even tasted for that matter) white wine. In a real wine glass. How long has it been since I read a menu and only understand half of the words, and the menu is in English? It has been awhile, maybe Europe? You may recall my last experience with the western world, I went into shock (Alice in Wonderland) but this time I am prepared. I was expecting to feel like a fish out of water, but instead I feel more like a duck.  This week in Ubud, Bali has been mainly duck to water moments – from the stunning choice of food and wine, to the gorgeous retail stores and the overload of yoga and all the stuff that goes with it. 

Don’t get me wrong, there has been moments where I have felt like I have been flapping around, desperately trying to gasp for precious life force (think fish out of water) but I realised that is those times where I have been outside my comfort zone. Looking back, when I hit London last year, it was simply that things were not foreign, my flapping then was simply my comfort zone had shifted some what. Now I have a beautiful gift called awareness....I am more aware of the things that make me start to lose my breath, I can feel the oxygen slowly seeping out of my lungs and the gripping feeling in my chest indicates I am having a fish moment, it is a sign from my body that the uncomfortability and perhaps even the fear is simply I am outside my zone. Inside the zone is certainty and control, harmony perhaps, and outside is the great unknown, maybe a sprinkling of chaos and definitely some feelings of "ok, NOW what do I do." It has just dawned on me really, so flapping fish moments are not so bad after all if I can see them simply as that, my comfort zone stretching. I am not feeling in my zone.

So this week I have tried out some things that make me feel comfortable – finding good coffee, trying new food, and also investigated some things that usually make my hands go clammy. I attended a Tibetan Singing Bowl meditation and had to control myself from snorting when the dreadlocked Singing Bowl – what do you call him, technician? Musician? – anyways, when the dude running the show said “you may just experience realisation of the self....the Tibetans have been meditating with these ancient bowls for centuries” If only self realisation was that easy! Why didn’t someone tell me sooner! And out of all the Tibetans I know, I don’t think one of them uses bowls for meditation. Oh well, it draws a crowd. At least I could laugh.  A definite fish moment tonight, a Chakra Meditation (I have tried a few things this week) that involved sound – now I HATE singing, well in public anyways, and this was for sure a fish moment, but given my awareness, I could see it as a fish moment, outside the comfort zone is all. So embrace it. And I became a duck. And flowing with the moment when the instructor encouraged us to embody the vibrations of sounds and colour into our energy system and to see the colours we were transmitting - whatever.

In all seriousness though, getting outside the comfort zone is not always fun or easy. In the last few weeks, I have had 4 women whom I admire greatly, admit (either to me or publicly via their blogs) that are having moments of feeling a bit like a fish. Things are not flowing, they are having one of THOSE days where you would just as soon get back into bed and pull the doona over your head and say bye bye to the world for a few precious moments, one of those “are you serious?!”  days and moments where you think to yourself WTF?!? And I have been thinking about these girls, as they inspire me, they give me hope and I love love love that they are so damn honest about what is going on for them, and I realised something – they are all following their dreams – all 4 of them have visions, they are passionate about those dreams and they are living them. They are constantly putting themselves outside their comfort zone in the pursuit of their big ideas and amazing lives they lead. They are mums, and business women, they are creating and carving change in the world not just for themselves but for other people. They are doing what most people only ever say “wouldn’t that be nice one day”. How amazing are these women. 

So this goes out to those women, the women out there living their lives to the fullest, to those who are dreaming big and doing it. And in the process they are occasionally feeling like fish, but for the most, are amazing and beautiful ducks.

You can read about the beautiful and inspiring ladies:

Fiona at Inner Pickle

Kelli at Heart Glow

Stella at Shiny Yoga

Bec at Mitrataa

I tell you, they are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

AND - if you are interested, starting 4th June, I am going to do a daily (yup, daily - aka fish moment here) account of my last 21 days on the road, throw in Yoga Coach training and you have yourself a recipe for a roller coaster ride. So come and hang out and enjoy the ride with me :)