My new best friend

A received an email from a friend recently saying “I don’t know what I would do with all of that time in the ashram to think!” and well, the point of meditation is really not to think. Let thoughts come but go without really looking at them. Stilling the mind. But somehow I got that part mixed up and kind of went into overdrive. Something about when you stop, things catch up with you I guess.  Life in the ashram has been pretty much as my last post, bubble life is becoming a pattern for me and I find I can often forget I am actually in India. What I have found though since I last wrote, that what began as peace and tranquillity, culminated in a storm of sorts earlier this week. Well, maybe not a storm, that is perhaps a little dramatic, but I was getting frustrated with my meditation practice – I am not doing it right, I am useless, my mind WILL NOT SHUT UP! No peace, no quiet, just constant and incessant chatter. That child seeking attention? Back with vengeance.  Everything from what am I doing next week, what are my travel plans, what about after Nepal, what about the rest of my life?  (Next week I think I will stay in Rishekesh before heading to Nepal on 2^nd April) Writing it now is almost embarrassing as really, what luxury to have such choice! To the mundane, what will I wear today (the big issues), I wonder what is for lunch - I hope it’s paneer (yummy food here, and this is my favourite, an Indian cheese dish), will we see an elephant today? (we saw one 3 days in a row). 

Ashram gardens

I started missing my other bubble in McLeod, at least I had coffee and didn’t have to hang out with my own mind so much, just some cool people who I would love to see again. I was really getting over myself to be honest.  For the first time this trip, I was not feeling the flow.  And then I had an aha moment – one of those times when you realise something so blatantly obvious that you want to kick yourself.  I had started thinking about stuff and analysing why I was thinking like that- getting myself in knots over mundane issues. I had forgotten my own mantra, just be here in the moment and live with what is presented to me. A reality check of sorts. I was getting in the way of myself.  It was while sitting on the banks of the river with our afternoon chai, and we spotted an elephant. He was taking a swim, and blessed us with his presence for about 40 minutes whilst he bathed himself in the holy Gange.  Truly majestic.  And it dawned on me, what on earth did I have to be worried about. I am living my dream, and my mind had become my enemy instead of my friend.  It sounds ridiculous, but even in the midst of this amazing experience; I was starting to sweat the small stuff. But I guess it shows I am human. The reality was, I was watching an elephant in the wild, how totally amazing. And almost instantly, the luscious glow to life returned. The colour in the flowers of the ashram garden, the locals passing us watching the Haiti (elephant) stopping to smile and enjoy the show, the aarti ceremony on the banks of the river conducted by the gardener each night, that same gardener teaching us asana on his tea breaks with broken english (perhaps one of the coolest people I have met so far) – all bought a smile to my face.  I can again see the beauty in the small things, and the worries of yesterday? What worries? Funnily enough, if I don’t know where I am going to be next week, does it really matter? It will all work out, it has so far and will continue to.  My meditation has not got any better today, but that’s ok, it will be different next time.  And the mind that would not be quiet? Well, let’s just say we had a chat, and I think I have the makings of a new best friend.

Aarti ceremony

I also wanted to say thanks for your emails and comments, I love hearing from you and it humbles me that you are taking the time to read about my adventures.  Continue sending emails and posting comments as I love hearing from you all!   I will post some more pictures next week so look to the flickr link on the right of this page.

My aha moment, triggered by my friend the elephant