Are you there God?

Learning about the Gospel of Matthew is not probably one of the things I must admit were on my to do list this year. I did have “be open” on there though, so I guess you could say I am checking that box. I am currently in a community in the south of France called Taize – a place that was established by Brother Roger as somewhere people could come to deepen their knowledge and faith. Yes, Christian faith. You may be asking what on earth am I doing here? And there has been points where I have asked myself the same thing, but it really is about keeping an open mind and an open heart. And well, some of this bible stuff is not all too bad.

I came here on the recommendation of a friend. I had a week spare unexpectedly and was looking for somewhere I could focus on my own practice (meditation) and also spend some time away from the city with the space to think. I have been on the road 6 months, and it seems like a good point to be reflecting on a few things and thinking about where to next. So the small place in the south of France sounded ideal. Well, maybe not small, I believe this is a quiet week with only 3000 people but typically there is up to 5000. Mainly young people (under 30’s, being over 30 you are officially classed as an adult, I guess I have to say ok) the place is alive from morning til night with people from all over the world. Interestingly it is a similar schedule to the ashram I stayed at earlier in the year so I am down with the routine of morning prayers, meal times etc. I am quite enjoying the prayer times as they are mainly done in song – sounds weird, but imagine 3000 people singing in French or Latin (they vary the hymns and languages) and it is really quite moving. One woman said to me yesterday,” I am not that kind of person, but I found myself in tears this morning” and she is right. It really is that beautiful.

On the one hand I enjoy the space and peace of the place, but on the other I have to admit the bible introductions and discussions are stretching my resistance. Thankfully I am in a small group of open minded people who embrace diversity of belief, so don’t mind I don’t own my own bible or regularly attend church. Like the rest of my trip though, things happen, call them co-incidence or synchronicity or the universe at play, or maybe it is God, but I find I meet the right people at the right time. In our small group discussions, we got on to the topic of meditation. Two of my Polish friends shared how they attend a weekly meditation group and how it supports their faith. Then a Dutch pastoral lay worker also shared, he attends a balance class each week – dancing, yoga and meditation (interestingly the teachers of his group are influenced by Osho....not sure he knows much about Osho!) and how he has learnt the benefit of working with his chakra’s and the need for him to ground himself. Now for you none religious types, he is from the traditional church, talking about energy he admits stretches his boundaries but be can’t deny how he feels. The difference it makes to work with his body and how it has changed him.  So it made me realise, you can find kindred spirits anywhere in the world. Even in a Christian camp in the south of France. 

They say God works in mysterious ways, and I must say I am still not sure what I make of some of teachings of the bible, nor is it really something I think I want to post on here. (Save it for a face to face conversation and a good bottle of red) But the one thing that perhaps has resonated the most is something that one of the Brother’s shared during a bible introduction - that we often do not take risks in our lives as we are bound by fear. Fear of many things, the unknown, what may or may not happen, but most importantly, we are afraid of losing control. He even admitted that often the church is guilty of this and imagine what the opportunities could be if we could simply take a risk. So, whilst I may not get all of the teachings of Matthew, I do like the message of looking at our fears, and taking risks. And God, if you are out there, help me to live a life without fear as it is pretty damn empowering when you do. Amen.