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The one thing I love about India (well there are many things, but this is perhaps one of the main ones) is the constant, and I mean constant opportunity to learn lessons. It is non-stop lesson learning territory in this place, from the practicing of patience with honking car horns , humbleness and humility with how lucky we are in the west to the art of letting go of “normal” (blog coming on that one). But for me at the moment, I am learning something different. Something a bit unexpected for me, and well if I am honest, something I thought I was actually quite good at. I am typically a head strong and independent minded (code for stubborn) kind of girl. I have my way, and I like it like it like that. So it was suprising and perhaps even a bit challenging for me this week as I slowly but surely was getting lesson after lesson in the art of saying “no”.

Some of you (perhaps Mum) are probably re-reading that last sentence, and thinking “are you joking?” but then some of you, are also probably smiling and shaking your head in acknowledgment (Bella, that is you). I have found I have a tendency, maybe it is old and maybe it is new, to not want to disappoint people, let them down and even leave them out to dry.  I want to please people, I want to help people, I want the best for people and often it is with no regard for me and my own interests. So instead, I grin and with gritted teeth say yes. Yes of course I will teach your friend English – I mean I should, really I am here tutoring other students, surely I can fit another one in, I can start working on my website/workshops/own practice some other time.....Yes of course it is ok that you dance that close to me with your stinky arm pits and horrible beer breath, this is your country it would be rude of me to tell you where to go, I am sure you don’t mean to be a sleazy/horrible/drunken man.....Yes of course I will forgive the fact that you have let me down once again, I am sure you don’t mean to, you don’t know better, you have other things going on that are more important than mine....

See the pattern emerging here? Small little things I know, and maybe I can take on the extra student as well, that is a good thing to do, but when my kind and giving nature is starting to be done through gritted teeth, it is a sign for me to stop and say to myself. No. Just say no. It really is not that hard. Don’t promise what you can’t deliver and don’t deliver at the cost of yourself.  So even in the life that I lead, there are always opportunities for balance. And “NO!”