I am dying....

Well, technically we all are – from the moment we are born we are merely making our way towards the inevitable. Death. It is certain. Yet we tend to overlook that fact, and live our lives like we have all the time in the world. In denial that the end will certainly happen and in most cases we don’t even have any real idea on when it will come.  My week at a Buddhist retreat certainly made me think about stuff and the impermanence of life is one of those things. Each morning when we awoke, we were encouraged to think “wow, I am alive”.  It sets the intention for your day and certainly gives you a whole new perspective on gratitude. 

7 days is not a whole lot of time to dive into the principles or concepts of Tibetan Buddhism, but my week with Ven  Robina Courtin certainly covered a lot of ground. Robina is a self confessed former catholic, hippy, feminist, lesbian, communist (and many other “ists” I can’t even recall) but 35 years ago discovered Tibetan Buddhism and like everything she did, came at it with all guns blazing. Unlike her other interests, this one stuck and within a year had taken her vows, shaved her head and donned the saffron robes and become a Buddhist Nun. It is difficult to find the right words for Robina – charismatic, energetic, straight forward and no bull shit are perhaps my words, but until you are in the presence of this tiny Aussie women, nothing really prepares you.  Sharing her wide and varied experience through her sharp and witty humour, she left the 80 of us in awe, inspired and to a certain degree challenged.  

 

This year I have found myself exploring many avenues of spirituality, interestingly it was not my original intention but somehow I have ended up meditating in an ashram in India, discussing the bible in a Christian camp in France, and studying Metaphysics from a Shaman in Guatemala. It seemed then appropriate to investigate Tibetan Buddhism given that His Holiness is someone I think is kind of interesting and the reading I had done in the past had sparked my curiosity. (Also an interesting fact that The Art of Happiness with The Dalai Lama was perhaps the first spiritual book I picked up more than 10 years ago and still remains of my favourite reads to this day).  And I was certainly not disappointed. The depth of the Buddhist religion is rich and inviting for a novice like me – you can use it rather like a smorgasbord picking out the bits you like and the bits you don’t, and as Robina stressed, try it, test, experience it all for yourself, don’t just believe what she or even the Buddha himself says. I like that. 

So after my brief time looking at my mind, bringing awareness to my attachments, attempting to understand wisdom and compassion, I am left with a new found respect for Buddhism. And of course for the amazing Venerable Robina Courtin  - and as she so eloquently put it, grow some balls and pull your finger out  - this stuff is not warm and fuzzy, it is damn hard work.  Pretty true of any practice in life I reckon. And the fact that I awoke this morning feeling lucky to be alive and to be experiencing these moments,  gives me renewed energy for being here, in this moment, right now. So try it tomorrow, wake up and say “wow, I am alive, I made it into another day” and see if it changes your day, it certainly did mine. 

Venerable Robina Courtin